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A man died, and at the second coming went to heaven. Of course, St. Peter met him at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, "Here's how it works. You need 100 points to make it into Heaven. You tell me all the good things you've done, and I will give you a certain number of points for each item, depending on how good it was. When you reach 100 points, you get in." "Okay," the man said. "I was married to the same woman for 50 years and never cheated on her, not even in my heart." "That's wonderful," said St. Peter, "that's worth three points!" "Three points?" the man said, slightly concerned. "Well, I attended church all my life and supported its ministry with my tithe and service." "Terrific!" said St. Peter. "That's certainly worth a point." "One point!?!" he moaned, now really getting worried. "I started a soup kitchen in my city and worked in a shelter for homeless veterans." "Fantastic, that's good for two more points," said St. Peter. "Two points!" the man cried. At this rate the only way I can get into heaven is by the grace of God!" St. Peter nodded and said, "Bingo, 100 points! Come on in!" Submitted by John Hughson (03/25/03) |
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